Bad news...

This is an entire week of "see ya laters".

Sunday wasn't awful. I'll see almost all of my family next week before I leave. It was my last time seeing my cousins from Idaho...I think I hugged my favorite two at least ten times this weekend. However, I've made them promise to be faithful little letter writers, so I'm not too worried.

Today's been hard. I just said "see ya later" to one of my favorite people in the whole world. She is an amazing person who has influenced my life, probably more than she's ever realized. She is an angel, as are so many of my great friends. I went from a high to such a low when I walked back in my house, as it suddenly hit me that this was it. This whole year-and-a-half thing really is happening. Of course we'll all stay in touch...but seriously. To give you an idea of my current condition, I'm on tissue number seven. Fo reals.

I know I can do this. I know that I'm meant to go on a mission and that I'll have some really amazing experiences. I know there's sacrifice involved. I know this. But let me just say that this whole "see ya later" thing? Yeeeeeeeah it's definitely not my fave.

See ya later?

Saying goodbye sucks. "See ya later" isn't quite so bad. "Goodbye"...not my fave. 

I leave for the MTC three weeks from today (ONLY 21 DAYS, GUYS.). I didn't realize that some goodbyes and see ya laters would come so soon! The past few days have proved to be just a bit overwhelming in that regard...

MONDAY. Goodbye number one. Without even realizing it, it was my last day of work! I was scheduled a few more days out...but more on that later. For the past nine months, I've been an interviewer for Pegus Research, and while there were some days that made me want to give up the ghost, it really was a great job. A blessing, even. I worked for and with some amazing people. I think I might miss them. I certainly won't miss health care surveys, but I'll miss those people.

TUESDAY. A double whammy. After two hours of sitting in her salon with my mom, I had my first "see ya later" with my friend and hair-lady, Becky. As we walked out to the car, I couldn't figure out why leaving her house was so hard, when I only see her every three or four months anyway! Becky is one of those sweet people who could be friends with absolutely anyone. She has a hilarious personality and is absolutely a gem. But. If I had a hard time parting with her...what hell is in store for me over the next three weeks? I'm only slightly afraid...

Goodbye number two. For the past two years, Sadie has been a HUGE part of my life. We went everywhere together...EVERYWHERE. 

She was the car of all cars. Trust me, if I weren't leaving the country for so long, I'd never get rid of her. But alas, within 17 hours of the listing being on KSL, she was gone. I certainly didn't expect it to happen so fast...but we got in one last cruise around K-town with the sun roof open and some Matt Nathanson blaring before we parted ways.
It'll be weird to have to borrow cars and steal rides from my parents for the next couple weeks....luckily I had an awesome boss who was willing to move my quit date up a bit and let me go early! For that, I'm very grateful, but I'll miss my cute blue friend. Love you, Sadie!

WEDNESDAY. Goodbye number three. Save the worst for last?
For the last few months, Oreo was really sick. His kidneys were failing, the vet figured he was born with kidney disease. He was always a giant cat, but he lost a lot of weight really fast. Over the past few weeks, he slept more than anything else and finally reached the point where it was just too sad to watch him be so sick all the time. All it took was a quick trip up to Animal Control this morning, and Oreo was gone.

That cat really was a pain in the butt. He bit me countless times (as well as quite a few visitors). He really liked to pee anywhere but his litter box and throw up outside your door in the middle of the night. If you got off your bed, he was in your spot by the time you got back. He'd walk around the house all night crying because he wanted someone to feed him. My dad swore he was going to kill him dozens of times. 

But, in addition to all of that, he loved sunbathing on the front porch. I'm sure he could tell when I was sad, because that's when he'd let me hold and cuddle with him. Before he got sick, he was always down for a laser-pointer chase. He had such a fun, semi-obnoxious but really cute personality. 

I'll miss that little guy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go eat some Oreos.

i miss this.

I like writing. I'm certainly not the greatest writer in the world, but I like it. It's mostly something to do to get things straightened out in my brain, or to figure out exactly what it is that I'm feeling (cue chick from Mean Girls: "I just have a lot of feelings"...)

My dad says I should be a journalist. My grandpa says I should write. Both of them majored in Communications, and both told me TO NOT TO. 

So. I'm never sure what to write about. What do people like to read? What about my life is actually interesting enough to entertain someone for two minutes of their afternoon? I don't know. 

But here's the deal. Four weeks from today, I'll be starting the biggest adventure of my life. That means I have four weeks to figure out how I want to close this chapter of my life and how I want to open the next one. My thoughts have been flying all over the place for the past five months. Now, it's time to focus. Focus on preparing, focus on becoming. Focus on raising the bar and on living higher. Focus on not crying every time I think about leaving my family. Focus on finding my courage in the face of the unknown. 

If there's anyone who actually reads this, I'm sorry for my six-month hiatus. Truly, I've missed this. Reading my friends' blogs (and probably too many blogs of people I've never met...) made me realize how much I've missed this. So. For four weeks, I'm back. 

Hi there.