All I've wanted to do lately is travel. As much as I love good ol' K-town, I feel like there's so much more to this world. Sometimes I wonder if I'll be one of those people who watches their grandchildren graduate from Davis High...I don't want that to be me. Even though I absolutely dreaded the thought of moving when it was actually a possibility, I don't think I was ready then. I feel ready now. Maybe it's that part of me that is dying to be independent and be on my own. There are 49 other states in this country, and I haven't even seen all of the one that I live in! There are how many other countries, filled with how many other people?? As Alicia puts it, you're raised in a place and if you stay in that place, you meet and marry someone from that place and you stay in that place, you raise children, the cycle continues.
There's just so much more to do out there! I want to live in a really small town, like Stars Hollow (too much Gilmore Girls? You know it! ), then I want to live in a big city like Chicago or New York. I want to pull an "Eat, Pray, Love," and travel to Italy and India. I would love to turn my life into a huge sabbatical and just go visit all of these places, meet all of these people! Why does it all have to cost so much money?? I really wouldn't mind touring Europe by way of hostels. A little sketchy, maybe, but it's cheap and you could see everything! France, Spain, Italy, Belgium, England...give each of those three weeks and you've got a nice three-month vacation! How perfect would that be? So perfect.
Okay, reality check. I have no money (at least I won't once college starts). This would all be so nice but I've pretty much accepted the fact that it ain't happenin. Not all at once or anytime real soon...
The thing that kills me is that we're just average. Sure, there are extraordinary people out there, I know quite a few. But for the most part, they just lead average lives. You do the college thing, maybe the mission thing, but then you get married and have kids and that's just how it goes. I look at some of the sisters in my ward, who could do absolutely anything with their lives and would be amazing at it, yet here they are in Kaysville with their husbands and kids. I admire them for it, because all I really want to do is go play. I do imagine that at some point, the desire to be a homemaker will kick in and I'll enjoy being a mom. I've just never loved having kids around, never been too fond of the mothering thing. If I could just have teenagers, that'd be perfect! In fact, once they can talk, I'm fine. Kids are funny! But what do you do with a baby? I don't even know.
Anyway...We only have one life, and what if something happens between now and old age? What if I don't make it to the point where my kids are all grown up and my husband and I can do whatever we want, just the two of us? Does that even happen? I hate to think that I may never get to see these places, that all I'll have known is Davis County.
Ooh! How about a road trip across America? Start on the Oregon coast, check out all of the church history sights, all of our nation's historical sights, stop and see all of our nation's historical sights, stop and see all of the shows I possibly can, hang out on all of the beaches...
There's just so much out there. I've concluded that I need a career that will allow me to travel...which means I'm totally messing up my kids' lives because they'll either never have a place they can really call home, or they'll have a poor relationship with their mother, who'd hardly be home.
Reality check number two. As much as I want to get out and go, at some point, I'm going to settle down somewhere and there we will stay. My husband will work, I'll take care of the kids. We can't all be Samantha Brown (her show was always my favorite to watch on the Travel Channel. She go to go everywhere!), no matter how hard we wish (someone remind me about these things around 11:09 or 11:10...I've got some wishing to do.)
Okay, what I want, in case I never get around to all of this traveling, is pictures. Books and photos of all of these fabulous places decorating my room or my future home. That way, at least someone will be able to see how bad I want to go, the I don't know, maybe someone will take me to Europe for my honeymoon. Whatever. I feel like it just might be a step toward making these dreams reality. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Or I'll just marry rich! His family will have homes all over the world, as well as several private jets for convenient travling. Perfect!
Reality check number three--Although I wonder sometimes, I do know I'll get married, just because that's how it works. But the guy I marry? It'd be pretty sweet if he were famous or something, but chances are he'll just be an average guy.
Sometimes it would just be nice if money didn't matter and we could go anywhere and do whatever we wanted and just enjoy this world. That's what it's here for, right? This huge, gorgeous round thing which we've taken over? Of course we don't own it, but I think it's here for us to use the best we can.
So, goal time. Paris. It has to happen. Why? Because, once upon a time, someone said: "Il faut aller a Paris au moins trois fois: une fois quand on est jeune, une fois quand on est en amour, et une fois quand on a de l'argent et qu'on peut vraiment vivre bien." As much as I hate to say this, I'm not gonna be 'jeune' forever! So I'm going. I am. I have to. Before I'm...30. That's when you get really old. Twelve years, that seems reasonable. Watch it happen, kids. Watch it happen.
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