Summer: Weeks 7 and 8 and all the stuff I forget to write about...

I feel like I've spent a lot of the summer just waiting for college to start...that is no way to live. So I've been trying to distract myself from that fact and just keep on truckin...while taking links off my countdown paper chain.

Update on the car sitch: We got the tint off pretty easily...my windshield is still covered in glue, however. It's a little gross. Anyway, I have until Tuesday to go to court, and of course it's closed tomorrow. I hate doing stuff on the last day. The second to last day is fine, but the last day? Whatever. It'll be fine.

Harry Potter. Maybe changed my life? Just a little bit. That show is fabulous. Maybe I've seen it twice. Whatever.

Also, while we're talking movies--Captain America? It was pretty good! I was a little skeptical at first, clinging to my mom's arm a few times there in the middle, and pretty satisfied when it was over. Good show.

I spent a little time with Audrey Hepburn this week. She is definitely one of my heroes. So amazing. Funny Face and Breakfast At Tiffany's, both were fabulous! I don't know why I didn't watch them sooner! They make me happy. Watch them both right now.

I went to orientation up at Weber! It kinda scared me just a little bit, but it wasn't so bad. I almost know where things are, but I'm making my mom go with me tomorrow to try to figure it all out. I also registered for institute so now I'm starting to get a little excited. This is good.

I took a spontaneous road trip! I had just returned from work to find my family putting on their shoes, which only happens when they're going somewhere. And where were they going? Girls Camp! Oh my goodness. I wasn't going to go, I was going to stay far away. But if my family was going...why couldn't I? Five minutes later, we were on our way to Camp Zarahemla! Fabulous night? Definitely. And...maybe we went again the next night? A little less spontaneous, but still a great experience. I love girls camp so much. It was a little strange to be there as a visitor, but so amazing to watch the girls and see how much they'd changed and how much their testimonies had grown that week. I found myself reminiscing about my camp experiences, I'm so grateful for everything I learned during those few days each summer.

I spent two consecutive weekends in Bear Lake--excellent tan? Check! I first went with the fam, then I went with some friends for a little graduation/senior trip adventure! Aunt Robyn and Uncle Rick's cabin is one of my favorite places ever. I wouldn't mind living there for the rest of my life...

While in Bear Lake for the first time, I read another book! Confessions of a Shopaholic--I definitely enjoyed it. It was so funny, but I hate to say that I wouldn't ever recommend it to anyone, thanks to some crude language. I wish it hadn't been in there, the book would've been so much better!

So that new recipe thing? Yeah...hasn't been happening so much. My mom's tried a few, and of course I've had to help eat them...so the losing ten pounds thing hasn't really been happening. I've kind of taken a two-month vacation from that, as well as running. But that ends tonight! Tomorrow is the beginning of a new month, which is a pretty good time to start (or restart...or re-restart...) something. So I'm making Micaille go walking with me, and who knows? Maybe we'll end up running at some point in our lives. We'll just see.

Did I mention that school starts in three weeks? Does that feel really soon to anyone else? Maybe just a little? But I think I'm ready...or hopefully I will be. It's gonna be an adventure, that's for sure.

Well, at least it wasn't my fault!!

I'm sure everyone does this to a certain extent--from the first day you start driving, you wonder what your first accident will be like, what's going to get you pulled over for the first time, stuff like that. Okay, maybe I'm the only one.

I was positive that my first car accident would be my fault. I'd be trying to turn left onto Main Street from Burton Lane, I wouldn't see the car turning onto Burton Lane, and we'd collide. It's definitely stupid to plan on that happening, but I was positive that's how it would happen. I guess I'm pretty glad I was wrong. While it did cost me a dear friend (RIP Rhonda), it didn't kill anyone (well, except Rhonda), and at least it wasn't my fault!

I was even more sure that I'd get pulled over for speeding before anything else. I do generally try to go five within the speed limit, but occasionally I'm late for work or just dying to get out and drive with my windows down and music blaring, and I don't know! Maybe I drive a little (really) fast.

Well, today, I found out that I was wrong yet again. I was running some errands when I was pulled over by a highway patrolman. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong: I'd been at a complete stop and had my signal on when he saw me. I was even stopped behind the stop line, which doesn't always happen! I was so confused...and a little terrified. I did always know that I wouldn't cry when I got pulled over, I'm glad I was right about that.

So it turns out that Officer C. Jones pulled me over because the tint on my windows is too dark. What?? Okay, yeah. It's really, really, really dark. But the dang guy that sold it to me said it had passed inspection! Liar. Officer Jones said there's no way it could've passed and I believe him. Lola (Sadie's stage name (Sadie's my car, in case you haven't met her)) is from Vegas and she's a pretty shady lady. She's a babe, but she's shady. Anyway, Officer J gave me ticket and some tips for removing the tint then sent me on my way. He was nice, but he's definitely not my best friend.

I'd just like to say-- at least it wasn't my fault!! Sometimes I'm glad that I'm wrong. (But curse the dang car salesman! He'll be hearing from us. And probably C. Jones.)

So...that kinda ruined my day. 'Kinda' as in 'pretty much did'. But after a pedicure, a peach and talking with some of my favorite people in the world, I conquered Tuesday. It had me down for a few hours, but I got it in the end.

Should anyone find themselves needing something to do, I'll be having several tint-removing parties over the next few days...it's gonna be fun!! We'll listen to fun music and I'll take you out for ice cream once it's all done...so come on over!

iSlack

Oh goodness! I guess I've been so busy leading my crazy, demanding life that I just haven't had time to even think about updating my blog!......

.....or I'm just super lazy. Either way...

So this thing called summer. The weather finally matches the calendar (well, today anyway...)! Epic tan?...still working on that. Hopefully 6 days in Bear Lake will solve that problem.

All I really do is work, sleep, and occasionally party real hard. Bowmans...that's where you'll find me. 30 hours is barely more than an entire day, but it feels like eternity when you're scanning groceries or standing on some purple line. But...sometimes I kinda like it. I have some pretty fabulous coworkers who have great relationship stories, tap-dancing skills, and the patience to read Laffy Taffy jokes with me. I even have managers who share the theatrical passions that I do! As much as I'd hate to say that I like my job, I like the fact that I'm friends with the people that I work with. We actually have fun. I like that part.

As far as movies go...I can't remember what I've watched or when I watched them... I did just finish my Harry Potter marathon in preparation for tonight's midnight premiere! 6 movies down, 2 to go (tonight's a double feature of part 1 and part 2!). My friend Alison (yeah, she was my young women leader, but we're friends and that's just how it is) scored some free tickets to the new theater in Farmington...along with free popcorn and drinks...unlimited Diet Coke? I think I might be more excited for that than the actual movie. And last night I made a t-shirt with the mark of the Deathly Hallows...I'm goin in style :)

I did finish Gilmore Girls, in case you would care to know. I've been going through withdrawals for two and a half weeks now. I really love that show. It just makes me happy! On Sunday...I had a dream that my grandma was Emily Gilmore. And it was reeeeeally excellent. That's all.

I read another book! The Book of Awesome. It's about all of the small things that make your day. Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row, the smell of crayons, when you hear someone's smile over the phone...it's so happy! It's so easy to look right over those things, it's funny to see that other people love these small things just as much as I do!

Ooh 4th of July!! Eh...let me try again.

Ooh fireworks!! I love them so much! So maybe I'm terribly afraid of fire...I've never been able to hold a sparkler...but I love fireworks! They are so gorgeous. I'm really liking these new aerials, it's like Davis High fireworks in your driveway! I don't know why, I just really love them. Don't love them quite as much when there are a bunch of chatty teenage girls sitting behind me or when my dad's asking me about the music that's playing...I need it to be quiet. It makes the popping even better.

FUTURE HUSBAND: Proposal idea? Fireworks. Without chatty teenage girls. Just a thought.

Happy Bastille Day, everybody.

Get Me Outta Here!!

All I've wanted to do lately is travel. As much as I love good ol' K-town, I feel like there's so much more to this world. Sometimes I wonder if I'll be one of those people who watches their grandchildren graduate from Davis High...I don't want that to be me. Even though I absolutely dreaded the thought of moving when it was actually a possibility, I don't think I was ready then. I feel ready now. Maybe it's that part of me that is dying to be independent and be on my own. There are 49 other states in this country, and I haven't even seen all of the one that I live in! There are how many other countries, filled with how many other people?? As Alicia puts it, you're raised in a place and if you stay in that place, you meet and marry someone from that place and you stay in that place, you raise children, the cycle continues.

There's just so much more to do out there! I want to live in a really small town, like Stars Hollow (too much Gilmore Girls? You know it! ), then I want to live in a big city like Chicago or New York. I want to pull an "Eat, Pray, Love," and travel to Italy and India. I would love to turn my life into a huge sabbatical and just go visit all of these places, meet all of these people! Why does it all have to cost so much money?? I really wouldn't mind touring Europe by way of hostels. A little sketchy, maybe, but it's cheap and you could see everything! France, Spain, Italy, Belgium, England...give each of those three weeks and you've got a nice three-month vacation! How perfect would that be? So perfect.

Okay, reality check. I have no money (at least I won't once college starts). This would all be so nice but I've pretty much accepted the fact that it ain't happenin. Not all at once or anytime real soon...

The thing that kills me is that we're just average. Sure, there are extraordinary people out there, I know quite a few. But for the most part, they just lead average lives. You do the college thing, maybe the mission thing, but then you get married and have kids and that's just how it goes. I look at some of the sisters in my ward, who could do absolutely anything with their lives and would be amazing at it, yet here they are in Kaysville with their husbands and kids. I admire them for it, because all I really want to do is go play. I do imagine that at some point, the desire to be a homemaker will kick in and I'll enjoy being a mom. I've just never loved having kids around, never been too fond of the mothering thing. If I could just have teenagers, that'd be perfect! In fact, once they can talk, I'm fine. Kids are funny! But what do you do with a baby? I don't even know.

Anyway...We only have one life, and what if something happens between now and old age? What if I don't make it to the point where my kids are all grown up and my husband and I can do whatever we want, just the two of us? Does that even happen? I hate to think that I may never get to see these places, that all I'll have known is Davis County.

Ooh! How about a road trip across America? Start on the Oregon coast, check out all of the church history sights, all of our nation's historical sights, stop and see all of our nation's historical sights, stop and see all of the shows I possibly can, hang out on all of the beaches...

There's just so much out there. I've concluded that I need a career that will allow me to travel...which means I'm totally messing up my kids' lives because they'll either never have a place they can really call home, or they'll have a poor relationship with their mother, who'd hardly be home.

Reality check number two. As much as I want to get out and go, at some point, I'm going to settle down somewhere and there we will stay. My husband will work, I'll take care of the kids. We can't all be Samantha Brown (her show was always my favorite to watch on the Travel Channel. She go to go everywhere!), no matter how hard we wish (someone remind me about these things around 11:09 or 11:10...I've got some wishing to do.)

Okay, what I want, in case I never get around to all of this traveling, is pictures. Books and photos of all of these fabulous places decorating my room or my future home. That way, at least someone will be able to see how bad I want to go, the I don't know, maybe someone will take me to Europe for my honeymoon. Whatever. I feel like it just might be a step toward making these dreams reality. Nothing wrong with that, right?

Or I'll just marry rich! His family will have homes all over the world, as well as several private jets for convenient travling. Perfect!

Reality check number three--Although I wonder sometimes, I do know I'll get married, just because that's how it works. But the guy I marry? It'd be pretty sweet if he were famous or something, but chances are he'll just be an average guy.

Sometimes it would just be nice if money didn't matter and we could go anywhere and do whatever we wanted and just enjoy this world. That's what it's here for, right? This huge, gorgeous round thing which we've taken over? Of course we don't own it, but I think it's here for us to use the best we can.

So, goal time. Paris. It has to happen. Why? Because, once upon a time, someone said: "Il faut aller a Paris au moins trois fois: une fois quand on est jeune, une fois quand on est en amour, et une fois quand on a de l'argent et qu'on peut vraiment vivre bien." As much as I hate to say this, I'm not gonna be 'jeune' forever! So I'm going. I am. I have to. Before I'm...30. That's when you get really old. Twelve years, that seems reasonable. Watch it happen, kids. Watch it happen.

Summer: Week 3

This week mainly consisted of the grocery store, a fabulous trip to St. George and my 18th birthday! Lots of partying going on!

Concerning the list:

--Midnight picnic with my best friend Micaille! We hit up the Sev to get some of our favorite snacks then headed down to Barnes Park for an hour of chatting and trying not to freak ourselves out. Fun story! A couple of my coworkers were telling me it wasn't a good idea to go to a park late at night...12:30 rolls around, Micaille points out a couple walking on the sidewalk...Oh, just one of my fellow checkers and her bagger boyfriend walking together. Creep in the park much? Ha! Too much fun!

--Excellent tan is on its way! We spent two and a half hours by the pool on Friday...in 105-degree weather...a little bit burned but mostly just an excellent base for my tan! 'Twas rather successful.

--I read another book! "Okay For Now" by Gary Schmidt. Soooo good!! It's a childrens book but it's one of those that everyone and their dog needs to read. It's one of those that makes you feel grateful for everything that you have and makes you want to be a better person. So good. READ IT.

--My movies for the week: Runaway Bride, The Proposal, Morning Glory, Mr. Popper's Penguins (yes, that was my choice, and yes, I certainly enjoyed it. I can't speak for my mother, however...), and Confessions of a Shopaholic. I love them all.

It was definitely a great week. Lots of partying, lots of fun.

I really feel like hiking this week. I like being outside. So...if anyone wants to be my hiking partner? I could use one. That's all. :)

Goodbye, Dancing Queen

I was driving around with my grandma and brother, listening to music on my 17th birthday. My iPod was on shuffle, and along came ABBA. "You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, onlly seventeen..." Hey! That was me! That quickly became this past year's theme song. It was my favorite as a kid, and now it was mine.

364 days later (today...), I was in the car, listening to it with my mom, but I wasn't quite as excited about it. A little sad, actually. This happens right before my birthday every year. I've always felt so excited and so ready to grow up, but right before it becomes official, I kinda freak out. (Not like that much can change in a day, I know that. The number means nothing except that you're getting older and gaining more responsibility. Not all in a day, it just means it's coming. Something like that...) It's not that I think I can't handle it or that I'm not ready for it, I'm so ready. I just don't like change so much. Things are good the way they are, why mess that up? I know life would be pretty boring without it; it's be like a dumb book that has no actual premise or plot, just a bunch of words. Okay, life would be pointless. Easy, but pointless.

So I should be glad that I'm turning 18 and going to college and becoming an adult. (There's a line from Paint Your Wagon where the dad tells his daughter something along the lines of her not even being an adult, to which the daughter says, "Why, I'm feelin' more adulterous all the time!" I'd so love to use that in a conversation, that'd get some good looks. Anyway...) And I am glad, I really am. I'm glad I'm out of Young Women and in Relief Society. It was a crazy six years, we had tons of fun, but I was definitely ready to move on from that. I love Relief Society! Our ward has amazing teachers and I feel like I always get so much out of their lessons and discussions. I love that even though I'm much younger than most of the sisters, I have a place there and fit right in. Who am I even kidding? I've been old my whole life. I think I was born about 35 or 40 years too later....I'm glad I'm out of high school. Boy, that was interesting. And so hard!! Everyone said it would be so much fun, which it was, but not enough to do it all again. Maybe I'd redo senior year, even though it was the hardest one, it was the most fun.

I'm just not as excited for college as I should be. I was excited at one point, back in December and January. I finally figured out where I was going, what I wanted this next year to be like, I had it planned perfectly. I don't know how I got attached to that plan so quickly, but I did, and letting go of it has been the hardest part. When it wasn't working out, I was completely crushed, but I came up with a new plan. Then that one didn't work out, so I came up with another one, which didn't work out, and here we are. My completely last resort, the plan I always wanted to avoid... There's nothing wrong with it, I just never saw myself fitting into it. Even now, I can't see it. I hurried to register for classes as soon as the plan was set so I could have some closure. While that's helped a little, I still don't know if this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I can't help thinking about all of the other plans I had and wishing I could've made them work, which is all completely pointless since there's nothing I can do about it now. I really am with the plan, but my problem is that I'm only okay. I want it to be fun and exciting and something to look forward to! I want it to be the best time of my life! But really? It's going to be like high school, except I'm going 20 minutes further. Yip. Of course it'll be a little different, it's college. I have no idea how things will go. I just really, really hope that I've made the right decision. That's what's bothering me the most. Is this the right thing? Should I have worked harder to make my other plans work out? Am I going to regret not going away? I hate that I over-think things like this, it would be much easier if I could just accept it as it is, since there's nothing I can change at this point. It is what it is.

Maybe I'd just like one more year to be 17...another musical in high school, I'd even take calculus again, I could redo the whole college decision thing...I just want to be the dancing queen for one more year. I've yet to find a cool song about being 18...is this a sign? That I can't be 18 yet? I bet it is....But it is what it is. Tomorrow always comes, ready or not. So I'll do what I always do. Party anyway. Figure the rest out later.

I Love...

Life. My grandma. Diet Coke. Musicals. Rainy afternoons. Seeing the stars. Watching movies. Finishing a good book. Writing. Slippers and my fireplace. Looking through pictures and scrapbooks. Good hairdays. Late night chats with a girlfriend. Coming across the perfect scripture right when I need it. Seeing my favorite people at the grocery store. Observing Ambien aftermath. Audrey Hepburn movies. Sharpies. Hugs. Pedicures. A successful batch of chocolate chip cookies. People who go out of their way to say hello. Reams of paper. Getting real mail. Listening to music that's way too loud. My deluxe snuggie. Croissants with Nutella and strawberries. Ikea. Girls camp. Finding cute shoes that actually fit. Our family cabin. My piano. Rhonda (may she rest in peace). Pillows. Quoting entire movies. Trees. The satisfaction that comes from making my bed. My leather bracelet from Musical Productions. Pictures. Driving home from the temple with wet hair. Trying on someone else's glasses. Summer. Knowing I made a difference. The social aspect of calculus. Winning a game of Solitaire without cheating. Grocery shopping. A text, an email, a note, someone taking a minute to tell you they care. Vacations. The moments when life feels like a movie. Napping on the tramp. My bedroom. Having exact change. Cute puppies. Hanging out with my mom. Children's books. Hot tub parties in the middle of winter. Hiking. Playing in the sand. Therapy sessions with good friends. Reading through yearbooks. Being spontaneous. My friends and family. Knowing who I am. Being me.


*Inspired by Kira Johnson and Amy Nielson*